Waking Up
by Flynne
Summary: A 2k3 "Same as it Never Was" what-if story. Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Raphael died in the assault on the Shredder's stronghold. But what if they hadn't?
1. Chapter 1

_ALL THE THANK YOU to SkitsMix for extensive headcanon sharing discussions and ALL THE HELPFUL BETA-ing!_

* * *

 **Waking Up**

The first thing he's aware of is the pain. He feels as if he has been gutted. But there's a gentle pressure on his shoulder - it doesn't hurt, but he's so utterly drained of strength that it feels as if it's holding him down...

" _Leo?"_

The voice sounds muffled as if his ears are full of wax. He isn't sure who's speaking, but the weight on his shoulder feels familiar, and underneath the myriad of cold, chemical odors flooding his senses, there's warmth and the scent of leather. _Raph._

But he can't stay awake. As much as he wants to reach for his brother's hand, his limbs are cold and leaden and he sinks into the dark again.

* * *

The next time he wakes, it's silent, but not the muffled silence of before. His hearing is clear. He doesn't know where he is, but despite the pain, his bed is comfortable and he hopes that means he's among friends. His brow furrows as it registers that there's cloth over his face. A mask? He hasn't worn a mask in years…

His hands shake as he reaches for his face, but before he's moved more than an inch or two, a voice interrupts. "Leo, don't." Gentle fingers wrap around his own to ease his hands back down. "You need to leave the bandage in place a little longer." April's hands knead his cold fingers. "We didn't want to restrain your hands, so someone's been sitting with you 'round the clock. Raph's been up and around, probably more than he should. He's been here, too. I don't know if you can hear me, but…"

He pulls in a breath. It hurts, but he tries to speak. It comes out as a thin croak.

"Leo?" He can hear her lean forward hopefully in her chair. He tries to speak again but he can't - something catches in his chest and he grips convulsively at her hands, because it feels like he's going to tear open. April squeezes back, then pulls one hand free to rest against his forehead. "Go to sleep," she says softly. "We'll be right here." Leo doesn't have the strength to argue, so he obeys.

* * *

When he wakes a third time, a strange humming is in his ears. The pain is nearly gone, though he feels weak as watered-down tea.

"Leonardo?" The voice is high-pitched and resonates in a way that triggers the shadow of some long-dead memory, and he doesn't know if he can trust it. The humming grows closer and he tries to flinch back in the bed, but he has nowhere to go.

But April's voice reaches him, slowing his heart. "Leo, it's okay. You're safe. We're going to remove the bandage over your eyes. Just sit still."

Leo swallows through a dry throat and waits. He _does_ wince when two cold metal clamps brush against his temples, but the touch is fleeting. There's a firm little tug and the cloth comes free. Leo blinks - then cringes back with a ragged gasp, because it's too much, there's too much light -

"Leo!" The mattress dips as April sits next to him. She takes his face in her hands, steadying his head and shielding his eyes. "Someone dim the lights, please? Leo, you're all right. Open your eyes." Leo carefully eases his eyelids open, staring in amazement as light enters his eyes for the first time in over twenty years. April gives a watery laugh, smiling down at him. "Hey, there."

"Hi," he manages to say, gazing up at the familiar stranger. Her brilliant red hair is now short and gray, and the years of war and grief have left their stamp in the lines of her face, but the sight of her fills him with the wistful sense of _home_ as much as it ever did.

The humming sound had retreated to the far side of the room, but now it returns. Leo's breath catches in his throat as his newly-restored sight shows an Utrom floating toward him on a hover pad, the bandage from his eyes still gripped in the pad's metal pincers that serve as arms. "Hello, Leonardo," the alien says. "It is good to see you again."

"What?" His exclamation of disbelief comes out as a dry rasp.

April lifts his head and holds a glass of water with a straw where he can reach it. "The Utroms showed up just after the battle," she explains. "They saved you. We didn't know if your eyes could be restored, but they said they'd try." She smiles down at him. "I guess it worked."

Leo sinks back against the pillow, breathless and overwhelmed. The last thing he remembers is Karai's blade sinking deep beneath his shell and the sound of Raphael screaming. "What...what happened?"

"I'll fill you in on the details later," April replies. "But you're all okay. Raph's been up and around for a few days now, and Mike's hanging in there."

Just two of his brothers? "What about Don?"

Her smile turns bittersweet. "He's gone, Leo. Back to wherever he came from, I guess. But I think…" She pauses for a moment, deciding whether or not she will finish her thought. "...I think you should focus on the brothers who are here with you." She speaks very gently, but Leo feels the reproof rest like a cinderblock on his chest. But April is still smiling at him and smoothing the worry wrinkles from his forehead with her palm. "Get some sleep, Leo. We'll talk more when you wake up."

Leo doesn't want to sleep. There are too many questions unanswered - April said "after the battle", but how did it end? What happened to the Shredder? And what did she mean that Mike was "hanging in there"? - but even as he shakes his head to protest, he can feel his eyelids getting heavy.

"Trust me, it'll be okay," April assures him. "You need rest."

"When I wake up, we talk," he says, words already slurring from exhaustion.

She leans forward and kisses his forehead. "I promise."

* * *

Leo knows Raph is there before he opens his eyes. So he keeps them closed while he awakens, waiting until the cobwebs are gone from his mind before attempting to speak. Raph isn't fooled, though. Leo hears him sigh and shift in his chair. "I know you're awake." His gruff voice sounds loud in the quiet room.

So he opens his eyes, turning his head in the direction of his brother's voice. It's been even longer since Leo has seen Raphael - they parted ways even before Leo's eyes were damaged. The brothers look at each other, and Leo feels his heart twist. Raphael has aged. His face is lined and weary beneath the one-eyed mask, and Leo recognizes the pinched look that comes from still-healing wounds. The frown is familiar, but the expression on his face is wary, not hostile.

Leo swallows through a dry throat. "Hey, Raph."

Raph nods. "Leo." He holds out a glass the way April did before. "Here. That Utrom goo can really dry you out." He doesn't help to prop his head, but Leo can drink easily with the straw.

"Thanks."

Raph just grunts in reply, setting the half-drained glass back on the narrow bedside table.

They look at each other in silence. Leo isn't sure what he should say. He isn't sure what he _can_ say. How do you erase three decades of hurt and anger? The years weigh heavier on him now than they ever did before. Leo knows they're going to have to talk about it eventually but it's too much right now. And, if he's honest with himself, it's not important at the moment. So he takes a short breath and asks, "What happened?"

Raph makes a wry face. "Well, not that I saw any of it firsthand, but from what April tells me, after the three of us went down, Donny kinda lost it and...well, his exosuit worked. He took out the Shredder. Guess he got zapped back to wherever he came from right after. That sent a lot of the Foot running, but most of 'em just got mad. But that's when the Utrom spaceship came screamin' down. Leatherhead was the first one out, if you can believe it."

An incredulous laugh huffs from Leo's chest. "You're kidding."

"Nope." Raph smirks. "Came roaring out full-speed and bit the nearest Karai-bot in half. Sparks and metal everywhere. Between him, the Utroms, and the rest of April's crew, it didn't take too long to clear out Shred-head's headquarters. Lucky for us."

Leo waits for Raph to say something more; waits for him to say that Leatherhead returned successful from his mission to ask the Utroms to help search for Donatello, but Raph remains silent and the faint hope withers and dies as quickly as it bloomed. Leo can't honestly say he expected anything else, but the loss still aches. He lets it go, though, focusing on questions that he _can_ get answers to. "April said...Mike's still recovering."

"Yeah." Raph sighs. "They got him first, remember?" Leo nods. "So he was down the longest. They've still got him in one of those…" He backhands the air irritably. "One of those tube things. Like...like they did with Splinter."

Their father's name hangs in the air, sharp like a spear of ice. Leo tenses, watching Raph carefully for any sign of animosity. Raph senses his scrutiny, and once again the pair of them are trapped in watchful silence. And suddenly Leo just feels _tired._ He doesn't want to walk on eggshells anymore. He doesn't want to fight. He just wants his brothers back. He sighs sadly. "What are we going to do, Raph?"

Raph shakes his head. "I don't know." He doesn't speak again, but he doesn't leave. He stays until Leo falls asleep.

* * *

Days and nights begin to sort themselves out. The third day after his eyes open, Leo starts to feel restless. The lights in his room don't need to be dimmed now. He still feels exhausted but he can't stay in bed anymore.

Sitting up takes more effort than he expects and the world swims a little when he makes it upright. He looks down at his plastron. There are a couple new gouges and there's still traces of blood between the scutes. He doesn't hurt anymore, not really - which says a lot for whatever the Utroms did to heal him.

The soft rattle of the doorknob makes him turn his head. A dark-haired young woman pokes her head in, breaking into a brilliant smile when she sees him sitting up. "Hey, you're awake!" She pushes the door wide and crosses over to the bed. "Sorry I couldn't be here sooner, but we've had our hands full clearing the city perimeter. Shred-head and the Queen of Darkness might be gone but the Foot isn't ready to go belly-up just yet."

He knows her voice, knows _her_ , but it's been years since he's spoken to her, and the last time he saw her face, she was a little girl. Shadow grins at him when she sees his astonished stare. "What? You didn't think I'd be taller than you?"

"I - I don't know," he fumbles.

The teasing glint in her blue eyes fades, but her smile doesn't. "I'm glad you're okay, Uncle Leo. It's good to see you." She takes a tentative step forward, half-raising her arms. Leo's throat is too tight for him to speak, but he manages to smile at her, and that's enough of an invitation for her to throw her arms around him. The sharp smell of gunpowder clings to her clothing.

Leo wraps his arms around her in return, half embrace and half simply holding on to keep himself upright. "You, too."

"It's my turn to check on you and make sure you were behaving yourself," she says when she lets him go. Her mouth quirks. "Good thing I showed up when I did."

Leo chuckles a little, but his humor fades quickly. "I can't stay in here any longer. I need to know what's been happening."

She puts an affectionate but restraining hand on his shoulder. "What do you want to know? I can answer any questions you have."

He doesn't answer right away, sifting through the blank spaces in his memory. Staying in this room isn't going to happen no matter what Shadow tells him, but he can delay a few minutes if she's concerned...and, okay, to make sure his body doesn't tire of being vertical. So - first things first. "How long was I out?" he asks finally. "And where are we?"

"We're in the main resistance base, and It's been a little over two weeks."

"Two _weeks_?" Leo has lost time before due to injury, but never this long.

Shadow sobers a little at his surprise. "You nearly died, Uncle Leo. If the Utroms hadn't shown up right when they did, you would have. As it was, they had to hold the three of you in their stasis field just to keep you alive until their stasis tubes were set up. You were in the tube for over a week before they could risk taking you out."

Mentioning the stasis tubes gives Leo pause, and he's silent for a moment before haltingly asking, "Raph said…" He swallows against the sudden tightness in his chest, averting his gaze to look at the far wall. "How's Mike?"

"What did Raph tell you?"

The lack of an answer doesn't help dissolve the cold knot that has been sitting in his gut. "Just that the Utroms were still keeping him in the stasis tube. But he hasn't been back since, so I haven't heard anything else."

Shadow lightly socks him in the shoulder. "That famous ninja sixth sense of yours must be on the fritz. Raph has been here. You've just been asleep." She shakes her head, a rueful huff of laughter escaping her chest. "Honestly, Uncle Leo, the three of you…" She doesn't finish, but Leo hears what she leaves unsaid as clearly as if she had shouted.

He doesn't remember her commenting on the estrangement between himself and his brothers before. April had said something when he'd first awakened, come to think of it. She definitely _had_ tried to talk to him about it early on, but the subject hasn't been broached for years. Leo wonders if perhaps this brush with death has smashed any sort of restraint or filter April and Shadow may have had...or if perhaps they have been speaking to him all along and it's only now that he can hear it.

Shadow notices his unease, and she does her best to give him an encouraging smile. "Uncle Mike is still in the stasis tube. There hasn't been much change. But you know he's not just a pretty face. He's hanging in there."

It's not enough of an answer, and Leo frowns. "That's exactly what April said."

"It's all we _can_ say." She rests a hand on his forearm. "But Mike's not giving up yet, and neither are we."

The cold knot in his gut shifts, moving up into his chest. "I want to see him."

"You _did_ hear me say I was here to make sure you were behaving yourself, right? How would it look if I aided and abetted your escape attempt?"

His jaw tightens. "Are you going to show me where he is or do I need to wander around until I find him?"

Shadow rolls her eyes, but she's smiling. "I knew I shouldn't expect anything different. Okay, if you promise to sit tight and wait until I get back, I'll take you there."

"Depends how long you expect me to sit."

"Just give me a few minutes, okay? I promise I won't be gone long." She pats his shoulder and hops off the bed, pausing in the doorway to jab a warning finger in his direction. " _Don't_ try to stand up." And with that, she slips out the door.

Shadow is gone a long time, long enough that Leo starts to wonder if he should try to get up on his own after all. He shifts on the bed and swings his legs over to hang off the edge, but just one attempt to stand up causes the room to tilt alarmingly and he decides that it would be best to follow her instructions. At long last he hears footsteps in the corridor outside and Shadow pushes the door open again, hauling a chair behind her.

"Look what I got for you," she sing-songs. "Pretty sure it's the only one in existence, so you should feel special."

Leo's brow ridges lift, then draw together in a skeptical frown as he eyes the contraption Shadow has brought in. The chair frame seems sturdy enough to support him, but there are no legs or wheels. Instead, the chair is hovering three feet off the ground, bobbing slightly like a duck on water. "What is that?"

"Well, we only have two wheelchairs, and they are currently occupied by people who actually use them full-time," Shadow explains. "So Mom and I appropriated a few of the Utrom hover pads and screwed them to the bottom of the chair, and...voila!" She spins the chair with a flourish, smirking at the look on Leo's face as he watches it twirl in midair.

Leo grimaces. "I'm not sure about this."

"Oh, come on," Shadow huffs. "It's _fine._ Look." She drops down heavily into the chair. The chair dips deeply and the hover pads whine a little, but it steadies quickly and she pulls her legs up to sit cross-legged on the wide seat. "I promise, it'll hold you." Her grin takes on a mischievous slant. "And if _you_ promise not to complain, _I_ will promise not to let Uncle Raph drive."

Leo laughs in spite of himself. He's still not completely sure how he should react to hearing Raph mentioned, but his brother isn't here and Shadow is, and she's still got the same playful gleam in her eyes that she had when she was ten. A familiar pang of regret tightens his chest at the reminder that, aside from a few brief encounters and the letters she faithfully wrote to him (that he seldom answered), he missed her growing up. She's in her early thirties - older than April was when he first met her - and it's time he'll never get back.

But she's standing there smiling at him without a trace of reserve or accusation on her face, and she's waiting to take him to his brother.

"Okay," he says with a sigh. "Let's do this."

Shadow steps up to the bed and ducks so he can drape his arm across her shoulders. It's a little awkward getting him to the chair. She's taller than April, having inherited Casey's height, and Leo can't lift his arm much without causing a painful tug inside his shell. The chair scoots around coyly as she maneuvers him into it, but she manages the transfer fairly smoothly.

"There we go!" She grins, just slightly breathless. "That went _way_ better than I thought it would."

"You've got a gift for inspiring confidence in others," Leo says dryly. He glances dubiously at the floor. He's weighing the chair down a bit, but his feet still don't touch the ground.

Shadow tugs the blanket off his bed and tucks it around his legs. "There. Nice and snug." She puts her hands on the back of the chair and steers him towards the door. "Sorry to say your goth-and-Lennon fashion phase might be over," she tells him. "Your coat got cut up pretty bad. Although the shades survived, now that I think about it. I'm not sure where they got to, though. Probably one of the Utroms took them."

Leo snorts at the image of an Utrom on a hover pad floating around wearing sunglasses. He glances up at her over his shoulder. "'Goth-and-Lennon'? Really?"

"I just call 'em like I see 'em. What, nobody told you what you looked like?"

He rolls his eyes. "Well, it's fine. Clothing can be replaced. And I guess I don't need the glasses anymore."

"Why did you wear them, anyway? Doesn't seem like you to be self-conscious about how your eyes look."

"I wasn't. The chemical burns just damaged my corneas. My eyes still worked, I just couldn't see. I could still tell the difference between light and dark, though, so the glasses blocked out flickers of shadow that might throw me off. It was easier to move around in total darkness than in shifting gray and black."

"Makes sense." She's quiet for a moment, then asks, "So what now? You thinking about bringing back the blue mask?"

It's a simple question, but it trips him up. "I...don't know."

The chair tilts alarmingly as Shadow pushes him around the corner, and Leo puts his hands on the arms to keep himself centered in the seat. He realizes that he doesn't know where she's taking him. He was only in April's base a handful of times, but he was able to navigate the halls well with only minimal directions. Now that he can see, he's not sure where he is. It's a disorienting feeling. "Are we almost there?"

"Just about."

They've moved to a busier part of the base now that they're away from the infirmary. People are brushing past them along the sides of the hallway to be out of the way. Leo can feel them staring at him from time to time. He's well aware of the resentment that rippled through April's base after he and Raphael walked out, but if any of the soldiers are harboring feelings of hostility, they hide it well.

Shadow lets the chair drift to a half in front of a wide set of double doors and tugs one of them open to push him through. The room they enter is large and busy, with maps spread out over card tables and people talking with quiet urgency into headsets. April is standing in the far corner, leaning close to a radio terminal. She smiles as she catches sight of him but doesn't break her focus.

"That's great to hear, Vinnie. Ever since we raided the Foot headquarters we've had more than enough ammunition. We can definitely send a truckload your way."

" _Excellent. We'll have someone meet you halfway and we'll swap you for some drums of diesel. The usual rendezvous point?"_

"Yes, and thanks."

Leo feels someone watching him. He's ignored the other stares, but this time he turns his head. Angel is standing in the corner of the room, arms folded loosely across her chest. Her face is older and harder than he remembers, and although her long mane of hair is its natural black instead of purple, one broad violet streak remains to frame her face on one side. She doesn't smile, but she breaks away from her small group and crosses the room.

"Leo. Good to see you up and around."

"Thanks," he answers carefully. Angel has always treated him with respect, but her attitude towards him has remained noticeably cooler ever since he left. "I understand we have your commando team to thank for clearing the way so we could get into the Shredder's base."

That coaxes a faint smile out of her. "They're a tough crew."

" _Yeah, we've managed to start mopping things up pretty good here,"_ Vinnie was saying over the radio. " _The squishy little creeps aren't exactly ready to get out of town, but I think we've got 'em on the run. Your plan worked."_

April's smile widens. "Looks like. You need anything else?

" _Nah, we're good. Hey, how's the Mikester? He up and gettin' into trouble yet?"_

Leo can see the worry in her face, but her voice is steady as she answers, "Not yet. But hopefully soon."

" _We'll keep our fingers crossed. Keep us posted, yeah?"_

"Sure thing."

" _Okay, we'll talk soon. And hey, say hi to Angelcake for me!"_

Leo casts a sideways glance at Angel. "Friend of yours?" he asks in a low voice.

Angel rolls her eyes. "He wishes." But she can't quite hide the hint of fondness on her face.

April smirks, continuing without missing a beat. "Okay, I'll pass the message along. Take care of yourself, Vinnie."

" _You too, April. Later."_

April switches off the radio and turns, propping her hip against the table with a sigh. "Well, that's the last one to report in." She looks tired, but satisfied. "We coordinated with Chicago and some of the other major cities the day we hit the Shredder's stronghold. If they were busy, they couldn't send help. We took heavy losses in a lot of places, but in most cities, the attacks were a success. Or at the very least, the remnants of the Foot have lost a lot of ground."

Leo nods slowly. The coordinated attack had been one of the last-minute aspects of the plan Don and April had put together. He hadn't given it much thought at the time, too focused on the battle ahead, but now that it's over he's forced to realize how much still has to be done to stamp out the radical Utrom faction and the rest of the Foot clan that had followed Ch'rell. And suddenly he's glad that he's sitting down.

April advances and rests her hand on the arm of the chair, giving it an experimental nudge. "Looks like it's working pretty well," she says, looking pleased. "Not a bad idea if I do say so myself."

"Yeah." Leo nods, then says after a moment of hesitation, "Shadow was taking me to see Mike."

April pats his shoulder. "I know. Come on." Shadow starts pushing the chair again, following behind her mother. April looks over her shoulder at Leo as she walks. "The stasis tubes are a little far from the infirmary, but they eat up a lot of power. It's better for them to be near the generators."

They pass through another set of doors and enter a room where the light is dim and tinted orange like a perpetual sunset. A few clusters of stasis tubes are spaced throughout the center of the room. Most are empty, but Leo sees a few Utroms and one human suspended within the tall cylinders. One Utrom drifts slowly around the tubes on a hover pad, monitoring readouts. And on the far side of the room…

Leo's heart clenches as Shadow brings him up to the stasis tube that holds Michelangelo. Like Raphael, Mike bears scars on his body that Leo doesn't remember. His mask and gear are gone. Even the metal cap over his truncated left arm has been temporarily removed, leaving the scarred end of the stump exposed. It makes him look more vulnerable than he already is. The readout screen near the base of the tube flickers periodically with numbers and lines of Utrom script, but Leo can't understand it and it makes his anxiety for his brother worse, leaving his shell feeling two sizes too small.

"Leonardo." Leatherhead lumbers into view from behind the group of tubes. "It is good to see you, old friend."

It's not easy to startle a ninja, but Leo is staring so hard at his brother that Leatherhead has approached unnoticed. Leo flinches hard enough to make the hoverchair tilt, and it takes him a moment to recover. "It's good to see you too, Leatherhead," he manages to say. Truthfully, he'd given up on ever seeing Leatherhead again - in the few times he'd remembered him over the years. The Shredder had not yet openly come to power before Leatherhead left, and then afterwards...afterwards Leo hadn't had time to spend wondering about the fate of a friend who had disappeared on a mission that seemed increasingly futile as year after year slipped by.

Leatherhead's slit pupils flare and shrink as he studies Leo, and his gut twists guiltily as he wonders how much April has told the giant crocodile about the past thirty years. But when Leatherhead speaks, it isn't about the past. "I have been watching Michelangelo's condition carefully," he rumbles. "His progress is slow, but he is improving."

Leo turns back to watch viscous orange fluid swirl across deep cracks in Mike's plastron. "Why is it taking so long?" he asks hoarsely.

"Michelangelo was badly injured and lost a lot of blood," Leatherhead replies. "We've had to keep him in an intermittent stasis field to allow his body to produce more blood cells. If he had been allowed to heal in real time, I do not think he would have survived."

"But he'll be okay now?" Leo can't keep the desperation out of his voice.

"I hope so," Leatherhead says. Leo swallows hard, trying hard not to lose faith - but on the other side of the room, the lights on one of the stasis tubes holding an Utrom abruptly flicker and go dark, and the Utrom monitoring the room lets out a low, keening cry. It bustles around the tube for a moment or two, then sweeps dejectedly out of the room on its hover pad.

Leo curls his hands into fists in his lap, gulping against the aching knot in his throat. "Can I have a minute?" he rasps.

April pushes his chair up close to the stasis tube, touches his shoulder softly and withdraws, beckoning for Shadow and Leatherhead to follow her. Leo waits until he hears the door close behind them, then lets out the shuddering breath he's been holding. His eyes sting and Mike's form blurs. Leo bows his head and leans forward to rest his hand against the smooth curving glass. The stasis tube is warm beneath his palm. "I'm here now, Mikey," he says in a choked whisper. _Too little, too late,_ his mind hisses. But he grits his teeth and forces the cold accusation away, focusing on his wounded brother. "I'm here. Don't give up." But the only answer is the mechanical hum of the stasis tube, and his shoulders begin to shake.

Leo doesn't hear the door open, doesn't hear the sound of footsteps, but he knows when he's not alone.

Raph doesn't come into his line of sight, but his unmistakeable presence looms just behind his left shoulder. "When he gets outta there," he says gruffly, "if he says _one word_ about being like Luke Skywalker in _The Empire Strikes Back_ , I'm gonna bap him so hard he'll think _he's_ in a galaxy far, far, away."

On the list of things Leo was expecting Raph to say, _that_ wasn't one of them. A sound escapes him - a laugh or a sob, he doesn't really know - and he pulls his hand back to wipe the damp streaks from his face. "I won't stop you." The pair of them gaze at Mike in silence until Leo abruptly sways in his seat. The hover pads exaggerate any movement and there's no way to hide his moment of dizziness.

"O-kay," Raph says, "time to get you back in bed." Even though Leo doesn't have the strength to resist, Raph waits until he sees him nod, then grips the back of the chair and guides him from the room.

The command center is empty aside from April, Shadow, and Leatherhead, and Leo's grateful that any prying eyes have been sent away.

"I can take him back, Uncle Raph," Shadow says lightly. "I promised him that if he behaved himself, I wouldn't let you drive."

Raph takes one hand off the chair to wave her off. "Nah, I got it."

Shadow exchanges a fleeting glance with Leo and April, sees agreement from one and approval from the other, and relents. She crosses her arms and gives Raph a playful frown. "No hot-rodding," she says sternly. "That's the only hover chair we have and we don't need it dinged up."

Raph just snorts in reply and continues on his way. Leo had been anxious to see Mike when leaving the infirmary, but talking with Shadow had eased his tension and made the trip seem shorter than it was. The way back with Raph's heavy, brooding presence behind him feels interminable, and Leo almost sighs in relief when they reach his room. Raph pushes him up to the edge of the bed, but doesn't move to help Leo out of the chair. Instead he stands behind him, mute and unmoving.

The silent minutes crawl past until the air seems to hum with tension. Leo braces himself, takes a deep breath, and ventures, "Raph...I think we should talk about - "

But Raph cuts him off with a growl. "Shut up, Leo."

Leo's heart sinks. Was Raph going to hang on to their grudge even now? _No, Raphael. You're not going to do this. I won't let you._ "No," he says aloud. He tries to speak firmly but it just makes the word tremble. "Raph, we have to - "

"Shut _up_ , Leo!" The rebuke is even more vehement than before, but this time, the tension in Raph's voice strains and breaks, and Leo feels a warm droplet land on his shoulder.

And understanding washes over him, leaving him breathless. He feels a thrum within his chest, a rippling along his nerves, and it's as if he and Raphael are two tuning forks that have suddenly rediscovered the same resonance after decades of being in discord. Raph is right. They don't need to talk. Talking about the past won't change it. They don't need to talk about where they were wrong, because they know. They don't need to discuss what to do next because they know the right thing to do. Tears fill Leo's eyes for the second time that hour, but they are tears of relief, because he has not lost his connection to Raphael after all.

He blinks his vision clear but can't quite steady his voice as he asks, "Forgive me?"

"Yeah," Raph says hoarsely. "You?"

"Yeah." Leo closes his eyes and lets his head fall back to rest against Raph's chest. "We're idiots."

"Yeah." Raph gives a choked little laugh. "Mike's the smart one."

(to be continued...)

* * *

 _Two brief notes:_

 _1\. This story comes from the slight 2k3 AU element that Shadow is Casey and April's biological daughter, born sometime after the "Back to the Sewers" season._

 _2\. April's discussion with Vinnie is an allusion to the TMNT/Biker Mice crossover fic I wrote titled "Alliance". You don't have to read it to understand this story. I just put the reference in for funsies._ :D


	2. Chapter 2

_This is a second version of this chapter with one additional added scene. It's the scene with Mike and Leo, just after Mike wakes up. I realized that I had April raise an issue about Mike that I never addressed the first time through this story. Most likely nobody noticed, but it was bugging me, so I had to toss something in to fix it._ :D

* * *

 **Waking Up**

It's another ten days before Leatherhead and the Utroms decide Michelangelo is ready to be removed from the stasis tube. During that time, Raph is seldom found anywhere else than with Leo. Much of their time together is spent in silence, and it often feels stilted and awkward - even with their animosity laid to rest, it's not easy interacting after thirty years of estrangement - but Raphael is the one who helps Leo scrub the last remnants of blood from the creases in his shell. He's the one who takes him to and from the generator room to be with Mike, first in the hover chair, then supporting him as he makes the halting journey on foot. Even when Leo's steps become stronger and he can walk on his own, Raph stays close beside him.

April finds a battered olive green army jacket big enough to fit over Leo's shell, but Raphael is the one who brings him the mask. Leo stares down at the strip of blue draped over his palm. He has not worn a mask since his eyes were injured.

"Where did you get this?" he asks quietly.

Raph gives a lopsided shrug. "April had it."

Leo strokes the fabric with his thumb. It's in perfect condition, but he knows that it isn't new. This belonged to him before, and April kept it safe. Yet another wordless gesture that shows April's fierce refusal to give up on her family, no matter how far they strayed. It simultaneously warms and wrenches his heart, because Leo _had_ given up. April and Shadow have forgiven his desertion but it will be a very long time before he can forgive himself.

The mask is bright and smooth against his weathered skin. Leo's earliest memories are rimmed with blue, the mask ever at the edge of his vision as Splinter raised him and taught him to lead. He carefully folds the mask and slips it into his pocket. He's not worthy to wear it, but he'll keep it with him.

He still has the mask in his pocket when they join Leatherhead, Shadow, and April in the generator room as Mike is removed from the stasis tube. The thick orange fluid is drained and replaced with gently swirling warm water that washes away the last clinging traces of restorative gel. A small swarm of Utroms converge on the tube, deftly disconnecting Michelangelo from the monitors and IVs. When he's free, Leatherhead reaches out with his big hands and lifts him onto a gurney. The Utroms quickly dry him off and then he's wheeled away to the infirmary.

April and Shadow just stay long enough to make sure Mike is settled. Shadow hugs them both fiercely, then reluctantly departs for her patrol. Leo sits in a chair next to the bed. He tries to smile up at April when she pats his shoulder, and pretends not to notice as Raph leans into the kiss she leaves on his temple. "I'll be back later," she promises, then returns to the command center and shuts the door behind her.

"The Utroms seem pretty sure he'll wake up soon," Raph says.

"Sometime within the next twenty-four hours," Leo replies vaguely. He can't take his eyes from Mike's face. Mike looks so _tired._ Without his mask and without his habitual cheerful expression, Leo can see every line of care and grief that years of war have etched on his brother's features. _It wasn't just the war._ He gulps against the tightness in his throat and takes hold of Mike's hand. _I did this._

"You're stayin'?"

"He shouldn't wake up alone."

Raph shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "I ain't arguing. I just...he might not want us here. You think about that?"

"I've thought about it," Leo answers quietly. "But he should be the one to make that choice. We owe him that much at least." He tightens his hold on Mike's hand. He doesn't know if Mike will want him to leave or not. He hopes he'll be allowed to stay. But he took the coward's way out when he left - _Shameful. You were the leader and you were the first to abandon your family -_ and he won't do it now. If Mike wants him to leave, he's determined to have the courage to face that decision.

"Guess you're right," Raph says with a sigh. Leo hears the chair creak as his brother drops into it - even with his sight back, he finds that he's still paying attention to sound - and then they sit in silence, and wait.

* * *

It's thirteen hours before Michelangelo gives any sign of waking up. Aside from two short breaks to get food while April and Shadow take their place by his bed, Leo and Raph stay with him. Each hour that passes seem to stretch longer than the last, but when Mike finally does wake up, it happens quickly. No sooner does Leo notice a quickening of breath than the hand still loosely cradled within his own twitches and curls, although Leo can't be sure if the fingers are attempting to wrap around his or flex into a fist. Hoping he's doing the right thing, he holds Mike's hand more firmly and leans forward. "Mike?"

Raph jerks in his seat, startled out of the half-doze he's fallen into, and pushes himself to his feet to stand behind Leo.

"Donny." The word comes out on a ragged whisper, dry as sand.

Leo breathes around the pang of sorrow in his chest and manages a smile. "It's Leo," he says softly. "You with me, Mike?" Hazy blue eyes blink open, but although they clumsily track over to his face, Leo can tell that his brother hasn't surfaced from his medicated fog enough to understand what's going on. All the same, he tries to reassure him. "It's Leo," he says again. "Raph's here, too."

Mike tries to lift his head and fails. "Don?"

"Don's not here now," Leo says gently. He doesn't want to say it but he can't lie to him; but all the same, he hopes that Mike won't interpret his answer correctly and understand that, once more, Donatello has disappeared with no hope of following after him.

Mike's breath hitches and he squeezes his eyes shut. "No," he whimpers, and the desolation in his voice makes Leo feel as if his chest is squeezed in a vise. But the distressed look he exchanges with Raphael turns to confusion when Mike forces out, "M'not enough by myself…"

"Mike, it's okay." Belatedly Leo remembers the water that April left on the bedside table. He starts to pull his hand away so he can help Mike drink if he has to, but Mike's hand tightens around his own. "Mikey?"

But Mike has slipped back into unconsciousness.

"What was that?" Raph asks, voice gruff with worry.

Leo shakes his head. "He didn't know what he was saying." But he's troubled and he can't hide it from Raph. Mike may not have been fully aware of his surroundings, but in Leo's experience, half-conscious ramblings are often some of the most honest, when filters are low and guard is down. Something's wrong with what Mike said, but Leo doesn't know what.

Raph growls under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fists. "I hate this. Feels just like it did back when…" He bites off the end of his sentence but indicates Mike's left arm with a frustrated wave of his hand.

"I know." Leo closes his eyes. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago that Mike lost his arm, and sometimes the memory comes crashing through as if it just happened, and he can still smell the blood and feel the shattering grief and righteous wrath that coursed through him the moment he laid eyes on his brother…

Raph slouches into the bedside chair again with a restless sigh. Leo can feel worry radiating from him, but despite his tension, it's not long before Raph is asleep once more. Leo is exhausted. Despite being officially discharged from the infirmary, he still tires easily, and he's been upright for a lot longer than he's accustomed to. But he can't let go of Mike's hand.

There's a soft knock at the door and April steps inside. She looks drained as well, but she still smiles fondly when she sees Raph dead to the world in his chair. "Hey there," she says quietly, crossing to stand next to Leo. "How's Sleeping Beauty?"

"He woke up briefly a little while ago," Leo says. "He was still pretty groggy, though."

April's smile widens, and she takes a relieved breath. "That's great. He still has a ways to go until he hits the twenty-four hour mark, but the Utroms tend to get fidgety when people fresh out of stasis tubes don't start to at least flirt with consciousness before then." She prods his shoulder. "And we all know Mike's a shameless flirt."

Leo huffs a laugh, but it's a thin sound and is quickly swallowed by the silence of the room. April gives him a concerned look and rests a hand on his shoulder. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"Mike asked for Don when he woke up."

"Oh." The word escapes on a sad little sigh. "I guess that doesn't surprise me."

"No." Leo's throat tightens. The last thing Mike had done before the Karai-bots had struck him down was call out for Donatello. "No, but...he said something else and I don't know what to make of it." April doesn't speak but he can tell she's listening. "He said he's not enough by himself."

April's hand tightens on Leo's shoulder, then she sighs and moves around to sit on the edge of the mattress so she can look at him directly. "I'm going to tell you this, Leo, because I believe you'll do the right thing. Mike said the same thing to me once, although I'm not sure he remembers it. He'd taken a bad hit, and was still pretty out of it. Sometimes when he's like that, he'll talk about Don. But when Mike said that to me, he asked me why he wasn't enough to keep the three of you together after Don disappeared. Why he wasn't enough to stop you and Raph fighting. Why he wasn't enough to convince you both to stay." Her tone is gentle, but Leo can hear the tears in her voice and he feels the words like a lash across his shoulders.

"It wasn't - " Regret chokes him, and he has to fight against the lump in his throat to keep talking. "It didn't have anything to do with him, it...we just couldn't…" He props his elbow on the bed and buries his face in his palm, still holding on to Mike's hand with the other. The mask in his pocket burns him through the fabric of his coat. The thought of walking out on his family is unthinkable, and yet he did it. He knows _why_ it happened, but he doesn't know _how_ , because what kind of coward gives up on his brothers?

He can hear the old familiar rationalizations echoing in his mind - _Things will be better when I'm gone, Raph won't be so angry, How could we have drawn weapons on each other?, Mikey won't caught in the middle again, What if I chose wrong? What if Raph is right about Splinter?, Raph isn't following my orders now and if I stay he'll get himself killed_ \- but reasons that seemed rational then are despicable now.

"I did this," he says shakily. "If I'd stayed - "

"We have no way of knowing what would have happened if you'd stayed," April interrupts. "And you can't waste time dwelling on the what-ifs. You've lost too much time already."

"I know." He raises his head to look at her with wet eyes. "It's a lot of time to make up for. But I want to try…" His gaze drifts to his unconscious brother. "...If he'll let me."

She smiles sadly. "He isn't going to forget, Leo. But he wouldn't be Mike if he didn't forgive."

* * *

It took Leo three tries to wake up lucid, but it only takes Mike two. Leo is asleep in his chair, leaning against Mike's mattress with his head buried in the curl of his arm. When he feels Mike's hand slip out from beneath his, he inhales sharply and sits up, blinking tiredly in the dim light of the bedside lamp. "Hey," he says, watching Mike scrub at his face with his palm. "You okay?"

"Ask me in ten minutes," comes the hoarse reply. This time Leo remembers the water. At first Mike tries to take it, but his hand shakes so badly that he lets his brother hold the glass. His head falls back against the pillow after he drains half the water, squinting at Leo in confusion. "...Your eyes…"

"The Utroms fixed them." Seeing Mike's expression become even more bewildered, Leo gives him a lopsided smile. "It's a long story. I'll tell you if you can stay awake."

Mike sighs. "I'll try, but no promises."

Leo turns, reaching behind him to nudge Raph awake. "Hey. Scoot your chair over here."

Mike's brow furrows, and even though he doesn't move, Leo can feel the tension stringing through his frame. Another wave of guilt threatens to break over him, but Leo can't let himself be pulled under, because this isn't about him. So he rides the crest and lets it pass, focusing on his brother.

Mike is silent while Leo fills him in on what he's missed in the past month, but his eyes keep flitting uncertainly back and forth between Raph and Leo. The one time his expression changes is when Leo tells him about Donatello's disappearance. He seems to shrink a little in the bed, averting his face for a moment or two before lifting his eyes to gaze at the ceiling. "So where do things stand now?" he asks.

Mike could have been asking about the state of the resistance. He could have been asking about the progress made trying to expel the Foot from New York. But Leo decides to take the risk that Mike means something else, so he says, "We're here, Mike. Both of us. And we're not leaving."

"You've been here before and left," Mike says flatly, shifting his gaze back to his brothers. "How is this any different?"

"When we were here before, we didn't intend to stay," Leo says quietly. It fills him with shame to admit it, but it's the truth. "We were wrong. We never should have left you. But this time we're staying."

Mike's mouth opens again, then closes. He swallows hard and asks, "Why?"

The doubt in his eyes hurts to look at. Leo doesn't know what he can say that will convince him that he and Raph are sincere. He can't give a reason why Mike should ever have faith in them again. The only thing the ache in his chest will allow him to say is, "Because we're your brothers." Mike's disbelief is plain to see - whether he doesn't care enough to hide it or he's too weary to hide it, Leo doesn't know - but he says nothing.

Then Raph breaks his silence. "If you'll have us," he says, unable to keep his voice from shaking. "If you want us to go, we'll go, but…Mikey, please don't - "

A strangled sob escapes Mike's throat and he covers his face with his hand. Raph pushes his way past Leo and sits on the edge of the bed. The way he hauls Mike upright makes Leo half-rise from his seat, worried about exacerbating injuries, but he stops and sinks back into his chair without saying a word - because after a moment of rigid tension, Mike folds against Raph and wraps his arm around his shell.

"You're both idiots," he says against Raph's shoulder, voice muffled by the battered leather of his coat.

"Me and Leo already went over that."

"And you're an asshole."

Raph laughs wetly. "I'll allow it." He lets go of Mike with one arm and reaches out to grab the collar of Leo's coat.

"Uh - " It's all Leo can get out before Raph gives him a yank and drags him up onto the mattress, and then Raph is hugging both his brothers, one arm encircling Mike's shell and the other around the back of Leo's neck.

"We're sorry," Raph says, not even trying to fight back the tears.

Mike sighs and leans closer to both of them. "It's okay," he says.

And Leo shuts his eyes and clings to his brothers. He's not sure if it's really okay. But he's beginning to hope that it will be.

* * *

Despite Mike's grievous injuries, the Utrom stasis tube has brought him nearly back to health. He's weak and sore, but the pain fades more each day, and despite weeks of inactivity, he doesn't have to rebuild much lost muscle mass. Leo doesn't quite understand how; when he'd asked, Leatherhead had launched into an enthusiastic and overly-detailed explanation about electrode muscle stimulation and protein-infused restorative gel. Leo had listened politely, absorbed maybe half of the information, thanked the crocodile, and moved on, content to be grateful that Michelangelo was going to be all right.

Leo is also grateful that Mike appears to welcome his presence; both himself _and_ Raph. There's some reserve to his demeanor, which is new and unfamiliar, but the smile on his face is genuine whenever his brothers enter the infirmary and he does not ask them to leave.

Leo knows that it will take time before the three of them will be able to connect with each other the way they did before, but Mike's reticence still concerns him. Not for his own sake - God knows he doesn't deserve uninhibited trust - but he can't forget Mike's half-conscious admission that he didn't think he was enough. He doesn't know if Mike remembers what he said, but whether he does or not, Leo can't let his brother believe lies about himself.

But even though Leo knows bringing it up sooner rather than later is best, he waits until he has an chance to talk to Mike alone. He doesn't want to exclude Raph, but he doesn't want Mike to feel cornered, either.

At first, Leo doesn't have much of an opportunity. Despite the fact that Raph had a head start on both of them at recovery, he is content to spend long, quiet hours in the infirmary with Mike. For his part, Leo is content to have him stay. Even though they aren't talking much, it's the most time the three of them have spent together since...well, since.

Even so, it doesn't take long for Raph's characteristic restlessness to kick in. He doesn't say anything, but Shadow notices. "Hey, Uncle Raph." She slides onto the bench next to him as she passes by their table in the mess hall. "You feel up to tinkering? We've got a few Jeeps that got pretty banged up in our last skirmish. Some of it is just body work, but a couple of the engines were damaged. Could use your help if you're interested."

It takes Raph a few seconds to answer. Even though Shadow has been nothing but happy and welcoming since his return, he still looks a little surprised every time she speaks to him. "If you want," he finally says.

"I do want!" She grins and bumps his shoulder with hers. "Besides, gotta make sure you've still got it."

The gentle teasing accomplishes its goal as Raph relaxes and smirks up at her. "Watch it, kid. You keep that up, and _I'll_ have to make sure you've kept up your ninja training."

Shadow laughs. "Empty threats, old man. You know as well as I do that Mom has expressly forbidden any sparring for you until further notice."

"Who are you callin' 'old'?" Raph scowls and shoves back from the table, stomping away in the direction of the garage.

Shadow grins at Leo across the table and gives him a wink. She jumps up and jogs after Raph, throwing her arm around him and stooping to rest her head against his as she walks beside him. Leo knows exactly what kind of grumbling Raph is making in response even though he can't hear it, and he smiles as he sees his brother slow his pace a little to let Shadow lean.

Leo takes his empty tray to the kitchen and heads the opposite way. He turns words over in his mind, trying to decide how to start talking with Mike, but every idea seems clumsy and stilted. He's so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn't notice April when she leans out of a doorway as he passes, and it's only when she calls his name for the third time that he gives a little start and halts in his tracks. "Wha? Oh...uh, sorry, April," he says sheepishly. "Wasn't paying attention, I guess."

She smiles as he doubles back to join her. "You headed to the infirmary?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so," he answers. "Raph and Shadow headed off to the garage, and I'd only be in the way if I went along with them."

"They do tend to get wrapped up in their work." Despite the amused tilt to her mouth, her gaze is gentle and serious, and Leo realizes she knows exactly what he's intending to do. But all she does is smile and hold out her hand. "Since you're headed that way, then, I'll let you take these along with you. I'm willing to bet someone has been getting pretty antsy without them."

Leo returns her smile as she places Mike's mask and the metal cap for his arm into his palm. "Thanks. He'll be glad to get these back." April's reassuring look calms his jitters somewhat, and by the time he reaches the infirmary his heart rate has nearly slowed to normal.

He pushes the door to the partway open, peering in to make sure Mike isn't asleep. Mike is reclining against a pile of pillows, mostly sitting up. His eyes are closed, but when the door opens he looks up and one side of his mouth lifts in greeting. "Hey, Leo."

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nah, I was just resting my eyes."

Both of them smile at Mike's answer. It's a phrase Leo has heard many times over the years after nudging half-awake brothers into a response after long meditation sessions.

"If your eyes need more rest, I can come back. But if I do, it means you don't get your presents until later."

Mike huffs a laugh. "Well, when you say it like _that_ , what choice do I have? What'd you bring me?"

"It's actually from April." Leo comes fully into the room, holding out his hand. "Here you go."

Mike sits up straighter, face lighting up as he catches sight of what Leo's brought him. "Awesome! Thanks, Leo!" He takes the metal cap first, carefully fitting it over the end of his stump. His fingers gently press and release on pressure points around the edges until the cap locks into place, then he reaches eagerly for the mask and slips it over his head. "Ah, much better! I've felt naked without them. Not that I've heard any complaints," he adds, waggling his brow ridges.

Leo smirks, rolling his eyes, but his stomach clenches nervously as he sits in his chair beside the bed. "Mike, I was, uh...I wanted to talk to you about something."

Mike's tone is casual but there's a cautious look in his eyes as he leans back against his pillows again. "What's up?"

"I don't know how much you remember about when you woke up," Leo says, "but the first time you regained consciousness, you weren't really with it."

The wariness stays even as Mike gives a self-deprecating shrug. "You know me. Half the crap I say when I'm out of it doesn't make any sense."

"Not this time," Leo says quietly. "You asked for Don, Mike, and when we told you he wasn't here...you said that you weren't enough on your own." Mike's expression shutters closed with startling abruptness. Leo stumbles into silence. He's never seen this look on Michelangelo's face before and he feels as if he's run face-first into a wall. But beneath his surprise is a throb of pleading desperation. _Mike, please - don't shut me out._ He forces himself to continue. "I - I didn't understand at first...but April told me what it meant."

Mike's face is impassive, but now his eyes look angry.

"Don't blame her," Leo says, guessing at the reason why. "She had her reasons. She said she was telling me because she knew I'd do the right thing." He tries to smile. "Fortunately, this time she was right."

No response. Not even a blink. Leo can't even see Mike breathing, but his trepidation has faded to a mere ripple at the edge of his mind, because right now, it doesn't matter what Mike may or may not say in answer. All that matters is that Mike knows the truth.

Leo's voice gentles. "I could try to explain why I left. Believe it or not, I had reasons. They were wrong, but they were there. If you want me to, I'll tell you why. But, Mike...It had nothing to do with you. You know how close Raph and I were when we were younger, even when we'd lock horns over something. The thought of breaking away from him - " He stops, feeling heat well up behind his eyes. But he breathes in, lets it sink down, keeps his face dry. This is not about his sorrow. This is about Mike. "I never thought it would be possible. And when it happened, I couldn't...I didn't stop it. It wasn't because you weren't enough. It's because _I_ wasn't. I failed, not you."

Mike's face is not impassive any longer. Bit by bit, the stone facade has fallen away, showing the emotion beneath. The tangle of doubt, betrayal, and hope wrenches at Leo's heart. "How can you expect me to believe you?" he asks shakily. "All this time, you don't listen to me, and then when Don shows up you both come back, just like that."

Shame makes him want to look away, but he forces himself to keep his eyes on Mike's. He owes it to him to look him in the face. "April didn't tell me about Don. She just said she needed me, that I needed to come. No other explanation. To be honest, I thought…Well, part of why I came was to make sure you were all right. But then Don was here, and..." He sighs. "He was back. I'd - I'd given up on him, but I was wrong. Made me start to think that I didn't have to give up on everything else, too."

Mike doesn't answer, and Leo knows that his answer is not good enough. "I came back because April asked me. I stayed because my brother was back from the dead. Something impossible happened. I thought maybe another impossible thing could happen; maybe we could actually win. Don was the reason April reached out to me, but I stayed because...because for the first time in years, I had hope that we'd have a chance."

But Mike is shaking his head. "It's the same thing. You wouldn't listen when it was just me."

Leo has to make a conscious effort to breathe around the pang of dismay. True, Don's return had been the catalyst that kindled hope from long-cold ashes in his chest, but the hope was the reason why he had stayed to fight. It's a world of difference to him; but all Mike can see is that Donatello's appearance achieved what his years of striving had failed to do. And Leo understands for the first time exactly how deeply he and Raphael have wounded their brother.

"I don't know if Don could have kept us together if he were here," he says at last. "But he wasn't, and…" He pauses, reaching for April's words to him a few days before. "...and we can't waste time on 'what-ifs'. Raph and I missed Don. But we never felt that you weren't enough. We left because of what we'd let grow between us, not because we felt that something was missing." Leo leans forward, speaking as earnestly as ever he can. "Please, Mike...if you can't believe me for your own sake, then believe me for mine. Or for who I used to be. You _are_ enough, Michelangelo. You always have been. And you _can_ believe me, because no matter where I've gone wrong, no matter what else I have done, you know that I have never lied to you."

There is a long silence. Mike's eyes are dry, but their dark blue depths are unnaturally bright, and his searching gaze carries the weight of decades of uncertainty. But finally - finally, the defensive tension in his shoulders melts away. He can't smile - not yet - but the look on his face softens and Leo catches a glimpse of the brother he has missed for so many years. "You haven't," he agrees softly. He sighs a little and looks down at his hand, fiddling with a loose string on the blanket. Leo waits, watching him, hoping.

"I don't know if I can believe it right away. But I promise I'll try."

"That's all I can ask." Leo shifts, reaching for Mike, but Mike's eyes flick uncertainly in the direction of his hand and Leo stops, sinking back in his chair before his arm has even half-lifted from his side. He drops his gaze, wondering how on earth he can ever make things right again. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he says softly.

There is a moment of utter silence before Leo feels Mike's hand come to rest on his shoulder. He lifts his head in surprise, the motion nearly pulling him out of reach, but Mike wraps his fingers around his arm and draws him in. Leo curls forward in his chair to rest his head and folded arms on the blanket, pressing up against his brother's side and closing his eyes.

Mike's hand on the back of his head feels like a benediction.

* * *

It takes two more months before the brothers recover enough to go back into the field. It comes as a surprise to some of the resistance soldiers - considering that they had been seconds from death three months before, it doesn't seem like enough time. But the Utroms' stasis tubes got them well on their way to health, and their mutant DNA and long experience at continuing training while healing from injury allows them to recover faster than most.

Even before he's cleared for combat, Mike is back in the command center with April, reorganizing the resistance forces and coordinating with the cells that had been led by Raph and Leo. When April decides that the brothers are officially ready for duty (Mike's protest of "April, I think we can figure this out on our own" had been firmly rejected - "Not until _I'm_ convinced, mister!"), the three of them meet April in her quarters. Shadow joins them, wedging herself in the narrow space between Mike and Raph on the couch.

"Well, I think we've got everything figured out, don't we?" April says, flopping back in one of her battered armchairs and toeing off her boots.

Leo nods from his seat in the other chair. "Perry's okay with taking over for me. He's been with me for over twenty years. He can handle it." He glances over at the couch. "Everything set on your end, Raph?"

"Yeah. Tyler's gonna stay here since his mom's here, but I talked to Esther and she's gonna head things up."

"We can do it," Shadow says, starting to smile. "We can actually get the Foot out of New York."

April sighs and scrunches her hand in her hair. "We've got a long way to go, but this is the closest we've come in a long time. The question is: what are the three of you going to do with yourselves here?"

None of the brothers says anything right away. "I'm sure you'll find places to plug us in," Leo says slowly.

"Yeah, Mike managed to keep himself busy," Raph says.

Mike rolls his eyes. "Just a little." He sits in thoughtful silence for a moment before venturing, "We could work together." The three of them glance hesitantly at each other before Mike attempts to diffuse the silence by giving a shrug and saying, "Seemed to always work best that way before, anyway."

"I think it's a good idea," April says with a smile. "There aren't many humans who can keep up with you. And if you're serious about staying together, it seems like that's the logical way to go."

Shadow doesn't say a word, but she can't keep back her grin.

Raph looks hopefully at Leo even as he attempts to sound casual. "Whaddaya say?"

"I'll do it," Leo says, "If Mike heads up the team." Mike's head comes up at that, and Leo finds himself on the end of one of his brother's searching looks that seem to go straight through him. He averts his eyes and looks at Raph. "Is that okay with you?"

Raph shrugs. "I'm good if you are."

"Well, guess it's official," Mike says with a grin. "Team Tortuga is back in business."

Shadow lets out an excited squeal and hugs both Raph and Mike, then bounces up from the couch to throw her arms around Leo.

* * *

Two days later, they have a target. Leo stands just outside the entrance to the base. His eyes are closed and he's breathing softly. New York is too quiet; there's no traffic, no crowd noise. But the incessant echo of Karai's voice over the loudspeaker and the rumble of surveillance drones have been silenced, and he can hear the wind threading through the rubble. The smell of smoke and exhaust is fading from the air, and he thinks he can catch the distant scent of rain.

A silent approach from behind: Michelangelo. Leo opens his eyes and smiles as his brother comes up beside him and breathes deeply of the night air.

"Hey," Mike says. "Raph's on his way."

"Good."

"Listen…" Mike rubs the back of his neck. "Not that I object to being appointed supreme commander of all mutant turtles…" Leo smirks and rolls his eyes. "...but...it's not what I expected."

"I don't think any of us really know what to expect anymore," Leo says with a little smile. But Mike just looks at him again. His gaze seems to shoot straight into Leo's core and he's got a familiar, knowing little quirk to his mouth, and Leo realizes that Mike already knows - or at least suspects - his reasons. Mike has always been able to see straight through him, something that both warms Leo and fills him with shame, because Mike can see the bad as well as the good. But the knowledge that Mike still _can_ know him fills him with hope, because perhaps it means that Leo hasn't changed as much as he thinks he has.

"This is your home base," Leo says, giving in to Mike's expectant silence. "You've had command here with April. You've earned your authority, and you're a great leader." Leo can see the sudden brightness in his eyes - it's a look he hasn't seen in far too long, the warmth that comes from hearing praise from his brothers. _You did good, Mikey._ "It would be wrong of me to assume a position as the head of our team just because it's the way things used to be," he continues. "That's the main reason. As for the rest, well…" he sighs, giving a little self-deprecating smile. "Raph and I have made our peace, but...I think it's best if he hears orders coming from you and not from me."

There's a third reason why he has chosen to let his brother lead - Leo doesn't deserve to. Against all hope, he's found reconciliation and forgiveness, but it cannot wipe away the shame of his abandonment. He doesn't say it aloud, but Mike gives him a slanted smile and says, "Fair enough."

Raph steps out to join them, tugging a pair of fingerless gloves onto his hands. "You guys ready to go?"

"Almost," Mike says lightly. "Soon as Leo gears up." Leo blinks at him in puzzlement, prompting Mike to smirk and drape his arm around his shoulders. "I know about the mask you're carrying around in your pocket. 'Bout time you put it on, don't you think?"

Leo goes very still. "I hadn't - I mean, I didn't really think about it, but…"

Raph rolls his eyes. "Just put it on so we can get moving, Leo. Three months is _way_ too long for me to go without kickin' any Foot butt."

"Well, I - hey!" Leo yelps, giving a startled jump as Mike loses patience and starts rooting in his pockets.

Mike gives a triumphant little "Ha!" and fishes out the strip of blue, holding it out. "Go on, Leo."

Leo hesitates. He glances at Raph and feels the knot in his gut gradually begin to loosen as he sees the look of quiet approval on his brother's face.

Mike smiles gently. "You're going to have to stop punishing yourself sometime. Might as well be today, right?"

Leo's eyes prickle. "No promises," he manages to say, but he reaches out to take the mask. He ties it around his head and takes a long breath. When he looks up, both his brothers are grinning at him. Leo finds himself grinning back. He turns to Mike. "What do you think, chief? Do I pass muster?"

"Well, you're not as pretty as me, but you'll do." Mike pulls his nunchuck from his belt, spins it briefly, and tucks it under his arm. "What do you say, guys? You ready to scare the pants off a bunch of Foot?"

Raph chuckles, dark and eager. "Hell yeah."

Mike's smile turns dangerous. "Then let's head out. We've got work to do."

Leonardo falls in - behind Michelangelo, beside Raphael - and together, the three brothers slip off into the night.


End file.
